Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway/Transcript/Who Shot Simon Cowell

(The SNT Productions logo shows with a person roaring)

(The Who Shot Simon Cowell? logo types in. The revealed logo then appears. Five gunshots then appear in all 5 O's)

(The scene goes through the logo and shoes scenes from the previous 4 episodes)

Narrator: Previously on Who Shot Simon Cowell?, someone shot Simon Cowell. Ant and Dec were accused and went on the run pursued the fit one from Silent Witness. And the fit one from Lewis. David Walliams gave the boys a lead...

(Bang!)

David Walliams: Oh.

Narrator: ...before he got shot too. CCTV footage revealed Louis Walsh carrying a gun. But that footage was stolen by crooked cop Kevin Watley. Ant and Dec found Louis in an Irish pub where they were arrested by Amelia Fox. After she discovered the boys were innocent, Amelia hatched a plan to invite all the suspects to a fake will reading and finally discover who shot Simon Cowell. Of course, I could just put you all out of your miseries right now by revealing that Simon Cowell was shot by... (Bang!) Uhh.

(The scene fades to Simon Cowell's house)

Olly Murs: Congratulations. You've made it through to the final. Will and testament.

(The suspects walk past Olly and Caroline. Olly shakes hands and greets them)

(The scene cuts to inside of the house. The suspects are seen sitting on chairs)

Alesha Dixon: Just to be clear, we're not here for Simon's cash.

Amanda Holden: No. We're just here for his gold.

(The door opens. Amelia Fox walks in)

Amelia Fox: Right. Listen up, scumbags. This isn't a will reading, so no one's getting their hands on Simon's money.

(The suspects moan)

Amelia Fox: Pudsey. (Pudsey sits on the soft stool) No body leaves.

(Bark!)

Amelia Fox: I also have to inform you that....

(Simon Cowell walks in)

Simon Cowell: I'm not dead.

(The suspects gasp)

Kieth Lemon: Today's gone from bad to worse.

Simon Cowell: And what's more... Ant and Dec did not shoot me.

(The suspects gasp again)

Simon Cowell: But to reveal who did.... here are two people you may just recognise.

(Ant and Dec walk in. Dec is on the left and Ant is on the right)