Spank (transcript)

[The episode starts off with Thomas doing his usual]

Thomas: Hello! My name is Thomas. Have you ever gotten spanked in the buttcheeks? When James got spanked, it was... [gets angry] I'm not telling you! All aboard for a big adventure! "Spank."

James: He're James?!?

[knocks crates over and one with goop splatters on Philip]

Philip: JAMES!

[Sir Topham Hatt runs to James]

Sir Topham Hatt: JAMES! WHAT DID YOU DO?!

James: I was in a hurry to see what job you had for me, but I... I'm sorry.

Sir Topham Hatt: Your apology isn't good enough! You have caused confusion and delay! [climbs on James and spanks his on the nose with his bare hand, causing it to bleed]

Philip: James, are you drinking snotty blood?

James: [starts crying and runs off]

Philip: [won't stop stalking James] What's wrong?

James: Sir Topham Hatt spanked me! It hurts! WAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! [James imagines nuking Sodor] This whole island shall be nuked! [real life] I know! I'll leave Sodor forever and see who Sir Topham Hatt likes that!

Thomas: [narrating] When James wanted to leave Sodor forever, he was happy and felt better. He summoned a magnet to grab him and fling him to another island. But...

''[A sign says "Death Prison Island" and a platform saying "Don't lie" falls on James' head. He sees dead steam engines.]''