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Harry Hill: Thomas the Tank Engine is back!

(Audience cheers and applauses)

(As the Thomas theme plays, Harry places a Bachmann Thomas on the table and grooves whilst he is in his chair)

Harry Hill: Choo-Choo. (He plays with the toy)

(The music stops)

Harry Hill: Now. You may remember the film Thomas and the Magic Railroad from the year 2000. Well, they have brought it back bigger and better than ever. And I wanna know about that image in the city scene.

(The scene cuts to the movie)

Lily: Love you too, Dad. Bye. (hangs up and looks to her mother) Why did my dad have to go away, mom? I wanted to say goodbye to him before he left.

Lily's Mom: I know, honey. But your father had to get to work. Now please help me pack. You're gonna carry this on the train after all.

Lily: I understand. But why do I have to go to Grandpa's. You're only having a baby after all.

Lily's Mom: Well, I didn't want to be at home while I was having a baby and staying with Grandpa is cheaper having a babysitter. Plus it will give you more time to get to know him better. It will be fun and only for a few days after all.

(From the clutter of space, Lily notices a black-and-white portrait of her grandpa and grandma, causing her attitude to soften)

Lily: I like this photo of my grandparents. Where was it taken?

Lily's Mom: (rising up and looking at the picture) That photo was taken at a school dance they were at. Burnett says that her dress was as green as the apples on a summer's apple tree.

Lily: I see. (looking closer at a picture to see a boy frowning at the couple dancing) But who's this other boy? He looks quite suspicious around grandpa and grandma.

(The scene cuts to the studio)

Harry Hill: It's me! (Audience laughs) I'm just kidding. It's actually Golden Globe Award winning actor, Nicholas Cage. He was known is this movie as one character that was cut from the 2000 movie.

(The scene cuts to the movie)

Lily's Mom: That's Boomer. Pete Tiberius Boomer. Also known as P.T. Boomer. Your grandfather said that he's a really nasty mean old man. Then later, just before your grandparents got married, Boomer destroyed something very precious to your grandfather then Boomer left from your grandfather from years ago. I've never known what it was and neither did your grandmother tell me.

Lily: Wow, what a mystery.

Lily's Mom: I know. Come on, Lily. Let's get back to packing. We've got a big day tomorrow.

(The scene cuts to the studio)

Harry Hill: Yeah, Lily. Pack. (Audience chuckles) Now, what I find interesting is the engine meeting scene.

(The scene cuts to the movie)

Bertie: (as Percy pulls into the station) Smile, you steamers. It's a sunny day. Vroom vroom.

(Audience chuckles)

(The scene cuts to the studio)

Harry Hill: Yeah. It really is a sunny day.

(The scene cuts to the movie)

James: It's not sunny because Mr. C's not at the windmill. I looked everywhere to find him.

(The scene cuts to the studio)

Harry Hill: Find who? Oh. Right. Mr. Conductor. Because....

(The scene cuts to the movie)

Thomas: I think his sparkle's all gone.

Percy: Me too, Thomas. I heard him talk about it in his sleep last night.

Henry: My smokebox doesn't feel sunny! It feels stuffed up!

Emily: Do you think you can just sneeze out at the bridge from those boys who throw the rocks at you?

Henry: I tried, but it has been blocked or something.

Gordon: Nasty fumes from dingy Diesel 10.

Henry: And Diesel 10's coming after the lost engine!

Edward: And if he finds her, I fear it will destroy us all.

(The scene cuts to the studio)

Harry Hill: Don't kill us, please. I mercy. (Audience laughs)

(The scene cuts to the movie)

Gordon: What? Even an engine was as big as me?

Edward: Yes, Gordon. Even you.

Percy: And even an engine as small as I am.

Ashima: Or a decorated engine like I am?

Lightning McQueen: Or a stock car like me?

Gordon: (snorting) Oh, please.

(Thomas sneezes powder out of his funnel)

James: Say it. Don't spray it, Thomas.

Toby: Is everything alright, Thomas?

Thomas: I've still got sneezing powder up my funnel.

Thomas' Fireman: Nothing a little coal won't take care of, Thomas.

Thomas' Driver: Come on, Thomas. We've got no jobs to do. Let's go look for Mr. Conductor.

Thomas: Right, crew. We can look for him.

Toby: (as Thomas chuffs between him and James) Let us get back to work. That's what he would want.

(Audience laughs)

(The scene cuts to the studio)

Harry Hill: Yeah. That's what I would order them to do, too. So who are the new stars in the 2019 movie? Well, there was Harry Potter book creator, Daniel Radcliffe as the voice of Thomas himself. And I've forgotten how tense the chase scene was.

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