[The episode starts off with Thomas doing his usual]
Thomas: Hello! My name is Thomas. Have you ever gotten spanked in the buttcheeks? When James got spanked, it was... [gets angry] I'm not telling you! All aboard for a big adventure! "Spank."
James: He're James?!?
[knocks crates over and one with goop splatters on Philip]
[Sir Topham Hatt runs to James]
Sir Topham Hatt: JAMES! WHAT DID YOU DO?!
James: I was in a hurry to see what job you had for me, but I... I'm sorry.
Sir Topham Hatt: Your apology isn't good enough! You have caused confusion and delay! [climbs on James and spanks his on the nose with his bare hand, causing it to bleed]
Philip: James, are you drinking snotty blood?
James: [starts crying and runs off]
Philip: [won't stop stalking James] What's wrong?
James: Sir Topham Hatt spanked me! It hurts! WAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! [James imagines nuking Sodor] This whole island shall be nuked! [real life] I know! I'll leave Sodor forever and see who Sir Topham Hatt likes that!
Thomas: [narrating] When James wanted to leave Sodor forever, he was happy and felt better. He summoned a magnet to grab him and fling him to another island. But...
[A sign says "Death Prison Island" and a platform saying "Don't lie" falls on James' head. He sees dead steam engines.]
James: Ooh, this looks like a place I'd want to live. No more Sir Topham Hatt! No more bossiness! No more unimportant useless engines! NO MORE! (echoes) Now, where will my new shed be? [loud metal creaking] Oh, what is that noise? Oh, well just my eardrums playing tricks on me. Now, I think I'll go to sleep. Right under here! [scrapyard crusher roof] Oh, yes. Here's a good spot. [imitating Sir Topham Hatt] Good night, James. [James goes to sleep and wakes up the next morning. He looks up and is about to get crushed!] NO! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I SOMETIMES WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL, BUT NOT LIKE THIS! [sees Sir Topham Hatt's shadow] I... ...see a little silhouetto of a man. Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the Fandango? [a storm comes and scares James out of his shed] THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTNING! VERY, VERY FRIGHTENING ME! Galileo?
Sir Topham Hatt: James, haven't you ever heard of the Grim Reaper.
James: The Grim Reaper?
Sir Topham Hatt: Yes.
James: You mean, death?
Sir Topham Hatt: That's him. I love you, James.
James: And I love you too, Sir Topham Hatt.
[The clock strikes 11 and Thomas pulls in]
Thomas: Spanking happen naturally the time. [flashback from Thomas and Gordon] One time, I got tricked by Gordon when I was supposed to be doing something special. It was really stupid. James decided to leave Sodor when Sir Topham Hatt mercilessly spanked him and made his nose bleed. Ewwwwwwwww! [back to Vicarstown] Do not run away from people who abuse you. I do not play games.
Clarabel: Come on, Thomas!
Annie: It's time to go.
Thomas: See you next time?!? [leaves]